Breaking News: BCFC Are NOT A Big Club, Whatever That Means…


Breaking news folks, Birmingham City FC are NOT a big club.

I know this will come as a shock to some of you since we so regularly qualify for Europe and have a team full of multi-million pound signings, but a random journalist has announced this morning that we are NOT a big club.

I’m sorry to have to be the one to share this news amongst fellow Bluenoses but we’ll get through this together. I for one am ashamed that I’ve spent my life daring to watch a team outside of the Premier League and would like to personally apologise to my friends and family for having the cheek to acknowledge a team outside of the top flight of English football. I’m sure you’ll all be joining me on a trip to Anfield next week to swear allegiance to Kenny Dalglish in front of the Liver Bird statues.

As if anyone really needed any more confirmation that the national, London based media cared less about the remaining 72 teams in the English Football League, today we were informed that we are a small club and therefore discussing our current plight surely isn’t worth anyone’s time. It’s a fair point I guess, there are only 24 hours in a day and if we don’t spend at least 8 of them talking about Arsene Wenger, then how will the viewing public know that Arsenal fans are disgruntled?!

I’ve no idea who Matt Law is, and I don’t for one second expect him to know or care who I am either since I’ve done nothing of note in my short amateur blogging venture. I did a quick Google search and it turns out, he’s also done nothing of note though, so I guess it’s justified that I only discovered his existence this morning. Mr Law has come under criticism today for suggesting that Birmingham City are not a big club and to be honest he’s right.

I am under no illusion that we are not a big club but I ask you, how childish and pathetic is it that a professional journalist is resorting to the same petty “we’re a bigger club than you” argument that fans throw out when they have nothing of value left to add to a conversation? And all because he happens to support our rivals. I gave up such silly talking points when I was 12 since they showed a real lack of credibility in a person, let alone someone that has fooled people into paying to hear his opinions.

In this day and age, what even constitutes a “big club”. Is it finances? Attendances? Trophies? The term “big” is so ambiguous without the inclusion of parameters. Bristol City tell Rovers they’re a small club. Ipswich tell Norwich they’re a small club. Liverpool tell Everton they’re a small club. Who’s right? More importantly who cares?

Personally I’d say there are maybe 4 or 5 genuine “big” clubs in this country at the moment and I use my own parameter to judge this – attitude. When Arsenal lost to Man City in the League Cup final, they were angry that they hadn’t won, rather than gutted that they lost. That’s a big club, winning mentality that shows how fans expect to bring home the silverware because winning is in their DNA. How many supporters can honestly say that losing in a cup final would cause anger over disappointment?

That’s just my level of judgement though and at the end of the day it means absolutely sod all. Every club is a “big club” to the fans of that team. I would hope that a journalist in the position of Matt Law would be capable of bringing more insightful comments to a discussion than the playground rhetoric of “yeah, well, they’re not a big club so there, ner-ner-ner”. Quite frankly, it’s embarrassing and regardless of the faux support he’s received from other writers who are struggling to hold positions in this modern world where social media is making so many journalism jobs redundant, Matt should be aiming to hold a discourse on a higher plain of intelligence. Unfortunately, Mike Parry, the alcoholism-mocking, cinnamon-spewing wannabe antagonist from TalkFootball is not a shining endorsement and his participation in the discussion only serves to further devalue its contents.

So yes, relatively speaking we may be a small club, but we have a massive heart and if all people have to throw at us is immature name calling, well that’s just fine with me. Keep right on Matt, and I’m sorry you needed to use us just to get people to say your name.

Such a small club attracting a big name like Monk, eh?

By Mark Watson


  1. Well said, totally agree. Sick of all the radio and TV debates about how the Arsenal fans deserve better, how good Spurs are theses days or ‘what about Man City hey!’ Or what’s gone wrong with Chelsea!! F*ckin boring for the vast, vast majority of football fans who’s clubs never get a seconds air time. If West Ham we’re going through what Blues are going through it would be MASSIVE news!! ‘Gord blimey.. this shouldn’t be ‘appenin’ to Bobby Moore’s Boleyn boys!! I feel like choking on me jellied eels!!

  2. Wrong dude. It was the other one who said it. It’s not the one in the picture and not Swathy Oliver (I need to clean up my act ) Holt !!

  3. But whoever he is, he’s entitled to his opinion. And as there are only 5 or 6 big clubs in the country, his comments won’t be of interest to the vast majority of football fans in the country !


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